chapter three

CHAPTER THREE
Life and Death

“I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens” Woody Allen

People talk about death like it’s a bad thing. It is not. It’s part of life. Life and death are not opposites. They are both part of the same thing. Call it life/death. You can’t have one without the other. Like birth, death is a passage into another place. We don’t know where that place is. To find out you have to go there. It’s a one-way trip. To truly live you must accept death. I’m not afraid of death. I’ll tell you why in two episodes from my life.

First, I must advise you to not try this at home. I’m not advocating anything, just telling you what happened to me. In May of 1969 I was camping in Colorado, in the mountains near Aspen. I had to opportunity to take LSD for the first time and I took it. I had a spiritual experience. I learned that the earth is a living, breathing organism and I was a part of it. I saw and felt the energy of every living thing and knew that it was all connected. I tapped into the “good vibrations” that Brian Wilson wrote about. It was a life-changing experience.

I have always been fascinated by science, especially the earth sciences and physics. Science tells us that energy cannot be created or destroyed, just changed from one form to another. I am not my body. My body is the physical container of the energy we call the soul. The soul is the life force and does not die when the body does. Religious people say the soul goes to heaven or hell, depending on how you live your life. I have no idea what happens to the soul, but I am certain it leaves the body when the body dies. My experience in the mountains showed me that.

My second experience was my mother’s death. I wrote earlier that my sisters and I cared for her and allowed her to die in her home. We promised her that she would not die in a hospital and we kept that promise. We did it with very little help from outside. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. It was also the best thing I have ever done. This was the person who gave us life and nursed us when we were sick. She was always there for us. There was no way we were going to turn her life over to anyone else. She died by inches, day by day. It was very painful to witness but it was a positive experience. We dealt with death every day until the relief of her passage. That experience created a bond between the three of us that is stronger than death.

 I am very grateful for all the support from friends and family. I will do whatever my doctors suggest to prolong my life as long as it’s a quality life. I do not intend to stay alive just to suffer. Keeping this blog is very therapeutic for me. I invite your comments.